SA Rocks

Kate Thompson’s Tea and Biltong with the Queen:

Leaving home is a virtually universal experience, whether it’s a minor move from your folks’ home to your own place just down the road, or a major one like emigrating – it can be a heady mix of emotions, simultaneously exciting and terrifying. When I first moved away to university I had a small taste of this, but it didn’t compare to the experience of moving overseas.

I thought I’d minimised the shock by picking a country with similarities to my own, and at least one I knew a little about.
Speak the same language – check!
Have family to house me for the first little while – check!
Familiarity with the culture? Well, let’s see: Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, an obsession with horses and dogs –check, check, check!

Well, the thought process wasn’t quite as naïve and clichéd as that, but I did think I’d thought it out and was prepared, but the truth is I hadn’t a clue. Culturally, despite being brought up in an English speaking family in an ex-British colony, it turns out (insert sigh of relief here) we have nothing in common.

It is so hard to pin down what South African culture is. Maybe we could venture a guess at some familiar pillars of Xhosa culture, of Ndebele or Afrikaans or English South Africans – but we’d be hard pressed to narrow it down in any meaningful way. And that’s not nearly as hard as describing South African culture, with tons of languages, peoples, and influences. I’m not a sociologist or an ethnographer, and I doubt even their ability to do that, – but, here’s the kicker, it doesn’t matter!

You don’t have to pin down the culture of your home to know that it exists. It’s something so ingrained, so subtly learnt that you don’t know that you’ve learnt to read the signs or even that there are any signs for you to read, until the signs change (when you wake up on another continent, for example).

This may contain a few overused examples, (we all know why something becomes a cliché, after all), but below is a list of some good South African words, phrases and understandings:

1. “Now” – this is great word. It can be used to mean this minute, or in an hour or two. Combined with “just” or repeated as in “just now” and “now now”, this tiny simple word can mean virtually any time without ever being specific.

2. “Howzit, how are you?” – no, I haven’t just repeated myself. One is a greeting and one is question – obviously!

3. “Ja no” – another absolutely nonsense phrase which adds little of worth to a sentence, except for what it adds in colour. Can be used instead of “um”, as in “Do you have the keys? Ja no, I last saw them in the kitchen”.

4. Bilingual and Creative swearing – most South Africans speak at least two languages, and even those we don’t speak we hear often enough to learn the fun and useful bits. I love swearing in Afrikaans and Xhosa round the office and getting away with it, while the office manager has a go at other staff for saying innocuous things like “Damn”. Oh, and South Africans love a good euphemism. My personal favourite is “Ooooh, veldskoen!”

5. The Metric System – the simple decimal system that the two most powerful nations in the world can’t wrap their simple heads around. It’s just easier folks!

6. “Robot” – traffic lights are robots. Sure it’s a little old fashioned sounding, but they’ll never be anything else to me. Oh, and this applies to “packet” too. I get blank looks when I ask for one here because in the UK they’re simply “bags”.

7. “Pavement special” – don’t make the mistake of referring to a cute mix breed dog as this. People in England take pedigree seriously, far too seriously. Maybe that’s why they still have a royal family?!

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Tea and Biltong with the Queen: No, don’t feed it to the corgies! That’s Kudu!

Some people, of a poetic or artistic persuasion, have suggested that a place has a rhythm, that the street has a rhythm of its own – a unique beat that people can tap into. In tales, it is often this rhythm that the protagonist is trying to find, this understanding that turns the situation to his advantage, that changes the world around for him, in whatever quest he is on…

But what makes up the rhythm of a place? Wouldn’t Cape Town’s beat be as different to Jo’burg’s one as London is? Can it be explained or quantified, like a genetic memory or spatial identity, or something more esoteric than that?

I don’t know much about that, but I know the cobbled roads of the Old Town of Edinburgh slow your pace, giving you long enough to gaze up at the medieval city towering above you. I know the sleek sidewalks of London will move you on if you don’t keep up the pace. I know Dublin encourages staggering (or is that just my friends?).

I know the dust gathers like a gritty talc in the Karoo seeping into your tekkies, building up on your socks, giving you the sensation of time accruing as if tiny Karoo towns gather time. It makes me want to slow down too, maybe sit on the stoep in the afternoon and watch the world go by.

The world feels young and feral in the coastal valleys of the Wild Coast, where people have only just been able to leave an imprint. It’s fresh, but it isn’t soft. It’s a world of aloes and dirt tracks and sharp rocks. I stand in awe of nature, but I watch my step.

The Western Cape is green and hilly in a chocolate box kind of way. It is a mix: so very French, so very Dutch, so very quaint, soooo cosmopolitan! It makes me want to frolic – if only I knew what a good frolic looked like!

Sometimes cliches aren’t imposed, they arise. A place can shape its inhabitants, and as exciting as new and different places are, you know the feeling of home the minute your foot fits the pavement – hence the saying, “it’s like coming home”. I sometimes wonder if it is this connection that expats are trying to recapture when lighting a braai in their postage-stamp garden of their digs in Southfields, London.

Yes, braais and boerie are wonderful all on their own, but isn’t there another part of you that longs for home when you do it? We’ve left home for a variety of reasons and some people sadly cannot imagine returning, but we’re still trying to conjure up a semblance of South Africa, even if just for an afternoon. I know it’s this I’m looking for when I trek to the South African shop on a Saturday and spend a week’s grocery allowance on biltong and niknaks…

You don’t know it’s there until you leave it behind, and then you don’t feel complete till you have it again. It’s in the smell and the dust and the land and the languages and the faces and the feet…

*With thanks to Miriam Makeba

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Tea and biltong with the Queen: Rooibos with lemon, or honey, or four spoons of sugar in a tin cup on a frosty karoo morning?

Here’s the problem with the “first world”: it’s too damn regulated and it sulks. It seems that when a country has loads of money, good employment levels, and a little bit of clout, politicians and the powers that be find themselves without very much of any importance to do. Sounds good, right? Wrong! Politicians aren’t the type to accept when they aren’t needed. Instead they look for ever increasingly petty and annoying things to hold over you.

In the UK you can’t offer a colleague so much as a panado, because if anything happened to them they could then sue you and the company you both work for. Instead you have to have a designated first aid officer, who is trained to hand out tricky essentials like plasters. Furthermore, you are required by law to have car insurance. Just hear me out… Insurance is good. We should all have it. But I reject the notion that the government should compel me to do so.

Petty regulations aside, the Brits (and, yes, I’m generalising here – with even more to come), love nothing more than a good moan. A few examples: Global warming is making my life unbearable. It’s going to rain all weekend. It’s too hard to recycle because the supermarkets provide too much packaging. I can’t honestly be expected to reduce my household waste! The school lunches given to my children are too fatty. My dogs, kids and husband are too fat. The schools have banned junk food …

Yes, yes, it would be lovely if South Africans had less serious things to worry about – but the baby-sitting government of the UK irks me sooo much that I had to air my feelings. It seems if there is a lack of genuine things to be worried about, people create new silly ones. And as much as I bitch about it, wouldn’t it be nice to have a few less things to stress about in SA (poverty, crime, AIDS, corruption, racism, malnutrition etc)?

Well, at least we can pat ourselves on the back for possessing a national “get-on-with-it” attitude. If you’ll excuse the cliché, it seems you can’t keep a good nation down, because even with all the scary things going on, South Africans have earned a reputation as being positive, friendly, and hard working people – and it’s this group, this generation I’m excited to be a part of!

We’re the generation that don’t know segregated schools. We’re the generation that were never under any illusions about AIDS. We’re the generation that can change the stereotype of the racist South African. I love being a part of that, and I’ve tried to be an ambassador for my Saffa generation over here, but have missed it terribly since I’ve been in the UK.

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The UN recentlty applauded South Africa in their new Aids plan. We are now, according to the chief of the United Nations’s Aids/HIV agency.

It seems that our Aids plans are reaching the same level as our constitution. Leading in the world and leading in Africa. This is great. However there is never a positive without a balancing factor.

The balancing factor at South Africa’s third Aids conference in Durban was Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang. Lets just be honest for a second, many millions of South Africans are doing amazing things in this country to combat Aids and educate the masses about the disease. Manto has not helped the cause in the past. “Dr. Beetroot” has been known to speak of vegetables as means to combat AIDS. Tsk Tsk Manto. No wonder you were sidelined at the Aids conference.

I think that the many millions of people, teachers, nurses, doctors and others who are doing great things should keep doing great things and if Manto can’t think of anything good to say she should be a good leader and let the people do good!

SA does rock and is progressive when it comes to educating the public about Aids and sexually transmitted diseases. What are your thoughts regarding Manto, and how would we solve this problem?

Gotta love Pronto Condoms (A South African invention by the way) and their advertising campaign:

Read the full story at the MG online.

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On the 20th of May I was pleasantly surprised while watching Carte Blanch. Finally I saw some extremely poignant, relevant and well produced South African investigative journalism on the box.

Apparently the documentary that night was about train surfing. I was moved, intrigued and astounded at the documentary in general. The topic, the filming, the commentary and the general production were all astounding.

Fortunately for Musi Manyamalala, the producer of the documentary, I am not the only one who enjoyed the piece that he created. CNN picked up the story and filmed the entire thing on Saturday. The documentary showed on CNN apparently featured some edit out footage that Carte Blanch did not show.

I am blown away at the talent that keeps emerging from the South African up-and-commers. Musi, you are a talented individual who deserves all the success the world and our country have to offer. I am glad that you have received international acclaim so early in your career and look forward to the rest of your career as it unfolds.

Here is an extract from the documentary:

Their parents think they are at school, but these teenagers skip classes every day just to surf. And they smoke dagga and drink alcohol because it makes the surfing easier and seem less dangerous.

Train surfer 3: “Let’s smoke. Where is the dagga? My dagga’s finished. Do your thing my man. We’re together.”

Now they wait for a train, girls are always around to support them. They’ll scream and cheer them on as they surf and the boys love it because it keeps them going.

Calvin is a seventeen-year-old surfer who is known for stopping trains … this is how he spends
his school hours.

During the strike, the boys were able to surf freely without getting arrested. It also gave them a chance to try new stunts.

These trains are often travelling at 40km/h or more.

…Read More

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Tea and Biltong with the Queen: Earl Grey, Ma’am? *blank stare*

A babble of languages on the street, an airport greeting message on a billboard that’s twelve lines long, a no-place-like-home mis-translation like “Welcome at Witbank Mall” – all signs of a TRULY multicultural society. Ever stopped to ask a stranger something and had to try out three languages before you found one you had in common? “Excuse me” you say. “Jammer?” they say. “Ndithetha nci nci Xhosa” you say. “Heke!” they say.

It’s a common occurrence in the land of eleven official languages. It’s something we complain about sometimes, and if you’re a little more old-fashioned you sigh about how inefficient it is, but it’s every day life in South Africa. And it makes me happy! The days of the Afrikaans-English bi-polar schooling are gone, but we still require scholars to learn a second language for around ten years, and I would imagine that most South Africans are, at least, bilingual.

Remember “Simulcast” – that 80’s method of tuning into the original American sound of a t.v. programme through your radio? With the cynicism of a media graduate, I know that this was an ugly symptom of an oppressive regime. But, I was five, six or seven years old, and I remember snuggling down with the whole family for the EVENT that was watching a programme like Beverly Hills 90210.

Do we have the radio? Is it pre-tuned so my teenage sister doesn’t miss what Kelly and Whatshisface have to say to each other? Where’s the electric lead in case the batteries go dead? There was preparation involved. And through the innocent eyes of youth, it was a family tradition that is probably fairly unique in the world at that time. I even have a friend on the other side of the simulcast divide for whom Alf will always be the little Afrikaans hairy alien!

Nowadays, when I’m skipping through the “sameness” of British television, I long to catch a snatch of something I don’t understand. In the 1700’s Scots and Gaelic were outlawed in Scotland by the ruling English, and even though it was repealed in the same century, the damage was irreparable. Today you can catch about an hour of Gaelic programming per week across five channels. By comparison, South Africa has embraced poly-language broadcasting (particularly in radio). There may be some proportional issues to sort out and a definite need for locally-produced quality content – but if you get home in time for soapie hour, you can have your pick of languages. If you like a show, but you’re not fluent – read the provided subtitles, or stumble along with the bilingual dialogue.

It’s a positive thing that enjoying a subtitled programme is standard. Or better yet – watch the weather in Zulu. The symbols are all the same, so you get the gist of it, but can also appreciate the unashamed enthusiasm the Zulu weatherman brings to his segment, even if you don’t understand a word! And Afrikaans rugby commentary is simply priceless: “O! Dis onder die pale in. Ongelooooflik!!!”

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Thanks to WiredGecko I have discovered Bill. Bill runs a vodcasting website called MyNameIsBill.com. Bill is travelling the world with a satellite modem and posting a daily video about his travels.

Paul at WiredGecko posted the following video from Bill who visited CapeTown. Bill sounds like an America traveler who only had amazing things to say about Cape Town. I am glad that not all foreigners to SA think that crime is the only thing that SA is famous, or infamous for.

Here is another reason that SA Rocks:

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Senses of Africa the first International solo exhibition of the work of Lorraine Ralfe.

Lorraine has been photographing South Africa’s most beautiful flowers for quite some time. This is her very first exhibition abroad. I think it is quite incredible that people from a completely different culture, continent and country show interest in South African flowers and culture. Brilliant.

The exhibition is not the only impact that Lorraine is making. She has apparently featured on Hong Kong radio stations and has also managed to do a podcast of the event and her experiences!

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Tea and Biltong with the Queen: Sliced? Or would you rather just gnaw on that one, Ma’am?

I Spy, the number plate game and the lowest common denominator in music may not be everyone’s first choice of how to spend ten hours, especially when you’re the youngest child and the primary source of amusement for your older siblings. Throw in some stale egg sandwiches for “padkos”, maybe an harassed parent or two, and you have all the ingredients for a South African tradition. My family even had a “volksie bus” to make our epic journeys in – the back window covered in stickers from the places we had visited. My brother and sister each got a long seat to stretch out on and I got the crumbs-and-sticky-juice-spills floor – but even the 30 hour drive from East London to Windhoek has a special place in my heart.

We don’t leave the car trip behind us when we grow up. It just changes style a bit. Now you can drive or your mates can, and suddenly everyone has a Golf to squeeze into, and a perfect excuse to ditch Friday lectures and drive to Cape Town for the weekend. Next you find yourself a member of the 9-5 working club and the drive to work even has an impact on where you want to live. In a country with an outmoded transport system, cars (our own, taxis, friends’ cars – all included) can become a home for landmark occasions, a license more significant than the fake gold keys of your 21st.

And you can’t beat eighteen months of public transport to make you yearn for a little car time: Buses and trains that come and go without concern for your timetable, the foul tempered driver, the crazy person drooling on your shoulder, freezing in winter, baking in summer, with ever present body odour and screaming babies… I’d swap that for clutch-foot cramp any day of the week!

We live in a BIG country, and as a result we take distance and cars for granted. Here in Scotland, my office only provides parking for the senior managers, and you can drive across the country in less than a day – a lot less, but it is seen as a far distance, an unnecessarily long drive. In fact you can fly from Edinburgh to Glasgow, which is around 80kms; although, if you drive it’ll take you over an hour with the traffic, or 50 minutes on the train. Sigh! Now I’m a small town girl, but it only means I’m more familiar with the receding horizon of country roads. This in itself is not unique – I’ve no doubt other ex-pats will identify – but it is an aspect of home I really miss, an unofficial South African tradition.

From my first month in the UK, I’ve been planning how I’m going to be a tourist in my own country when I come home – the current version involves driving a convertible from Jozi to iKapa through the interior during mid-Summer, stopping only in one-mangy-dog villages and staying only in BnB’s run by little old grannies who think decorating involves doilies. I don’t know when I’m going to have the chance – so you go ahead, but, please, take it easy on the roads.

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This is not an advert but a nice-to-know. I love Eagle-Eye Cherry and think that it is great that he will be in SA and playing in such intimate sessions.

He will be playing as part of the Old-Mutual Acoustic Encounters at the Grahamstown National Arts Festival. How incredible is that? Seeing the “Save Tonight” man playing his tunes live and not so loud? Other incredible bands that shall be present include collaborations between Koos Kombuis and Robin Auld, Neo Muyanga and Chris Chameleon, Concord Nkabinde and Tamara Day, Craig Hinds and Tumi Molekane, Karen Zoid and Selaelo Selota.

No only will you be rocking out to the international flavour on our shores but you will get to see some absolutely incredible local talent. Seek the gigs out and find the rock.

Tickets are available at Computicket from 21 May onwards at a cost of R60 per person for the whole night’s entertainment.
The gigs take place on:

3 July – The Bassline (JHB)
5 July – Die Taphuis (Grahamstown)
6 July – Die Taphuis (Grahamstown) and
7 July – Die Taphuis (Grahamstown)

for more information visit Oppikoppi

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